A gift for a new mum: what helps in the first six weeks

Every birth brings a mountain of babygrows, swaddles and soft toys. Yet the baby is the one least delighted by things — while Mum, in the first six weeks, is healing from the birth, bleeding, learning to breastfeed and sleeping in snatches. The NHS points out that the postnatal check comes around six to eight weeks after the baby is born; until then the body is still recovering.

Then there's mood. Tearfulness and feeling low in the first days after the birth (the so-called baby blues) usually pass within two weeks, according to the NHS. What helps Mum at that point isn't another box to unpack, but having eaten and being able to lie down for an hour. That's why a gift for Mum is remembered longer than the seventh set of bodysuits — it's proof that someone noticed her too, not just the baby. We write in more detail about who a birth gift is really meant for in the article A gift for a newborn: who is it really for?.

Help is hard to accept when it sounds like “if you need anything, just shout”. Almost nobody does. Write a specific offer with a date — on a card or in a message.

When a grandchild arrives, parents have an advantage friends don't: they can help for longer than one evening. At the same time, they're the most inclined to take over the household and hand out advice. The gift that works best gives your daughter back her time, but not her decisions: cook and leave, take the washing away, have the older grandchild for the weekend.

If parents want to contribute money, it's more practical to pay for something specific — a pram, a month of cleaning, meal deliveries — than to hand over an envelope your daughter will spend on nappies anyway without treating herself. And if you want to give your daughter something just for pleasure, think of it as a gift for her, not for the baby: a nice piece of jewellery, an evening out whenever she's ready. More ideas by stage of life are in the article A gift for your daughter: what to choose for every age and stage.

For a mum with an older child at home too, the hardest part of the first six weeks is often their jealousy. A gift for the older sibling is therefore indirectly a gift for her: the child gets the attention Mum doesn't have the energy for right now. Something that keeps them busy without an adult works well, or something that confirms they're now a “big brother” or “big sister”.

One option is a personalised book in which the older child is the main hero. The illustrations are created from a single uploaded photo, so the hero looks like that particular child, and their name is woven right through the story. Before you pay you'll see the proposed title, a sample of the story and the dedication — though not the finished illustrations yet. In the dedication you can write that they're now a big brother or big sister; how such a book is made is described in the article A personalised book: how it's made and why it lasts a child for years. The e-book is usually ready within 15 minutes, so it works even as a last-minute present; the printed book usually arrives within 7 working days. And the book doesn't have to come straight after the birth — in the first weeks, when everything at home revolves around the baby, it may mean even more to the older sibling.